The Family b-log

Kelli & Proverbs 31

Kelli will be the first to tell you that she’s not perfect. And my aim here is not to discuss her imperfections because i’m no more perfect than is she. but I’ll tell this, with each passing day I fall more and more in love with her as I realize what a blessing she is to me and our family.

Year after year, especially during that time known as “Mother’s Day,” we hear sermons on “The Proverbs 31 woman.” We’ve heard some excellent messages on this theme, and others that are, well, not so excellent. Regardless of the quality of the message, I hear some common themes on these messages: she’s industrious, she’s committed, she’s innovative, she’s reverent. And while I love Proverbs 31, and believe that my bride exemplifies the very definition of a godly wife by these standards, I want to just share a “point of order.”

I believe the real litmus test of what makes a godly spouse is the indwelling presence of the Lord in that spouse. My love, honor, respect, desire, affection, and attention for my bride is not, nor should ever be, based upon who she is or even how she is. My love for her is not established on her performance. If God’s love for me is not established on my performance, it would be extremely hypocritical of me to operate within a different set of standards. My wife is a godly spouse not because of who she is, but who she is in Christ.

When you evaluate the vows that are exchanged, you have two ways to interpret them. One way (the most common way) is to look at vows as a series of actions, duties and responsibilities. If you determine that your commitments to love, honor, respect, and even obey your spouse are a series of actions, you’ll never fulfill them. The other way, however, is to determine that your vows are a code of attitude around which to orient your life. This is only possible to understand and fulfill when one has a reborn, renewed spiritual life given by God through faith in the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth. Why? Because Jesus Himself modeled the marriage vows to His Bride, the church, when He gave Himself sacrificially on the cross to redeem and restore her for eternal union in heaven.

My bride is a gift from God and a joy to my life not because of how she blesses me. it’s not because i can count on well-mannered, well-educated, well-attended children (which i can). It’s not because i can count on a clean home, great meals, honest interest, and intelligent conversation (again, which i can). It’s not because i can count on a desire to excel, a commitment to persevere, or even her deep love of God (which I do). My bride is a gift from God because the resurrected Christ lives within her. He reveals Himself and reproduces Himself through Her. He glorifies Himself through her and by virtue of being in her company, I too am blessed.

The components of Proverbs 31 are exemplified in a Christ-like woman of God. Kelli is a woman after God’s own heart.